What's crackin'? I'm bored and got a lil something on my mind so here goes...last November, I met this girl. And we clicked instantly. She's cool as hell. And she wasn't any regular girl. She was smart, had a good head on her shoulders, motivated, confident, very pretty but at the same time she had a warm side to her. I used to love chillin' with her. We'd chill from like 10pm until 4 or 5 am the next morning and we did nothing but just talk. Yet the time would just fly by. We kicked it like that from January of last year like that until basically the end of the school year which was in early May. Anyways, needless to say, I developed feelings for this girl and according to her they were reciprocated. So I figured, why not ask her if she would be my girl. So at the end of March, we were kickin' it like we always do and I asked her if she'd be my girl and she shut me down. I was salty, haha, damn I felt awkward as hell. I just wanted to disappear instantly. And she gave her reasons of why not and I guess, it basically boiled down to she wasn't ready. And also keep in mind, the end of the school year was coming up. And I guess she landed a job down near Atlanta Georgia as a nanny. So she'd be gone for the entire summer. So I guess, it made sense that she didn't want to get together just yet. But we kept talkin' and she said she basically wanted to keep in touch during the summer and wanted to pick up where her and I left off last school year. And this was more than cool with me. I was willing to wait. Three months would have been definitely worth the wait for this girl, because like I said I really liked this girl (I still kinda do to be honest with myself.) So anyways, early this school year. We started to hang out again. And things were basically the same as last year when we hung out. But now, all of a sudden she stopped calling me. I don't know why. I don't know what I did. I know that during late September, her roommate and I got into a verbal fight at a party. Things were kinda blown outta proportion. And I knew this. I can't really say who was at fault. I can't pin it all on her roommate but I can't say that none of the blame can be on me. Anyways, when me and my boys left the party, I felt bad as hell, especially the next morning. So I called the girl that I really liked and I apologized to her and told her to tell her roommate that I felt bad as well. And she told me everything was cool. She said she understood and wasn't mad at all and neither was her roommate. And I was happy and thought things would stay the same. Wrong. Ever since then, she stopped callin'. We stopped hanging out. I don't know if it is because of that incident, or whether it something else but it has to be something. And what's even worse about it is that she tells my friend that she hasn't called me because she is nervous! I couldn't believe that when I heard it because, how could me and her have been so close and now all of a sudden she is nervous? I don't get it. Because I'm not nervous at all. So I was like, if she's nervous let me be the one to call her. So I call, and she didn't answer so I left a message on her voicemail early one afternoon and she called me back at 1am that night. And we talked for a little bit. I was at a party but I bounced just so that I could kick it with her. It was only like a five minute walk so I get over there and she was chillin' in bed so we begin talkin' and things are just like old times but just for that night. We chilled for like three hours and then I bounced cuz she was gettin' tired. So the next afternoon, I called her and left her a message basically saying that it was nice to finally hang out with her and talk and just chill like we used to (that was the first time in a couple of months). I thought she'd call me back and this was over a week ago. Still haven't heard from her. But that's life I guess. Things change. I keep tellin' myself to just LET IT GO! but its a lot easier said than done. I'm trying though. But we'll see what happens. Anyways, just thought I'd get some thoughts out my head. Feel free to comment. I'll holla. Peace and Love. One.